Cruentus
by TrueHeartsGlow
Summary: Sakura Haruno was made a queen at only her 17 years and things only keep getting harder for her. Will she succeed to keep her kingdom from falling apart and find a chance for love, both at the same time?Or will she need to sacrifice the one for the other?
1. Where I come from

_**Author's ****note**: I know some of you hate them but we gotta have them. :P Anyways, I know I got a LOT of unfinished stories, but I'm looking for something to inspire me and I can't continue a story if I don't feel inspired enough. I apologize for being so irresponsible towards my readers._

_Anyways, apart from that, this is my new story:_

_It's set in **an****alternate ****universe****, ****which ****borrows ****a ****lot ****of ****stuff ****from ****the ****real ****and ****some ****of ****the ****naruto ****world.** It's set in medieval time( around 17 century in an alternate England), though as this is an alternate universe, **it's ****not ****historically ****accurate ****at ****all** and you might read a lot of things that will not make sense given the time that this story is set in._

_This isn't cause I'm lazy to do historical research as one should when attempting to write a book based on a historical time, but it's cause I want to be free to use my imagination and ideas as I want, without complying to historical limitations, since I wouldn't be able to fit all my ideas in the same story if that was the case. I might edit later and rewrite some chapters, to make them better, so don't be surprised in case you reread this story and notice changes here and there. Let me know if I should keep going._

Note: English is not my first language, so you're bound to find quite a few mistakes, both in the way of phrasing things/syntax and spelling. Nevertheless, I hope you can still enjoy the story.

Plot: **Sakura ****Haruno ****was ****made ****a ****queen ****at ****only ****her ****17 ****years ****and ****things ****only ****keep ****getting ****harder ****for ****her , ****what ****with ****big ****life ****decisions ****she ****dreads ****and ****unexpected ****enemies ****popping ****up.****Will ****she ****succeed ****to ****keep ****her ****kingdom ****from ****falling ****apart ****and ****find ****a ****chance ****for ****love ,****both ****at ****the ****same ****time?****Or ****will ****she ****need ****to ****sacrifice ****the ****one ****for ****the ****other?**

**Disclaim: I do not own Naruto. Or the world.**

The atmosphere had been painted with subtle tension since the start of the very conference, following the same route that the recently previous ones took. Today was no exception, not with Lord Uchiha present, ever since he had returned from his 4 year leave.

"And you're saying what exactly, my Lord?" the old man inquired, raising a dissapproving eyebrow.

"I'm saying exactly that, Lord Manemour. The king should leave his throne." total silence filled the cold, spacious room, as all men of the council exchanged wary glances amongst them.

"Are you against King Haruno? Weren't you the one so passionately supporting him in the past, my lord?" the former man broke the silence, gathering all the courage that all the lords and barons in that very room lacked.

"I'm not against our very King. I'm against the crown. I have changed my views and now have a better vision of what our country needs in order to survive nowdays." the raven male spoke in a very confident tone, that left no room for questioning. If this had been someone else talking, he would have been ejected from the council right on spot at the best, or he'd have his head cut off at the worst.

Lord Manemour seemed to be losing his temper. His face became reddish and he seemed to have difficulty breathing.

Yet, noone else in the dark room dared to argue with Lord Uchiha. Even for a lord, he had power far above average, for a man of his place. His fame and wealth could only be paragonized to that of the very King's.

Rumours had it that it was because his and the King Haruno's father had been very close friends, close as siblings would be, since very young and the former King had the former Lord Uchiha in high esteem and appreciation, as the later had for the first.

They went to every difficult or mild battle together and people said that the King himself had once said that as long as he had Lord Uchiha fighting by his side, he could not lose the battle. Such was the emotional strength and the strong bond that the two men shared. That rumour got even bigger, after former Lord Uchiha's death(he had been assasinated 5 days prior to a kingdom battle with France).

King Haruno fought the battle but wasn't at all victorious. The battle was in fact greatly dissapointing, resulting in bigger than usual loses for England. That was the first battle to be lost by King Haruno(the 1st) and the beggining of the downwards spiral which the king's carreer had started following.

Some other rumours though told a different tale. The current Lord Uchiha was famous for always fighting in the front lines of every war, known all across the medieval kingdom and its surrounding ones, for being to violent , merciless and brutal with his enemies. This caused people to fear him and respect him.

Then again, other people said that his fame and power had just got even bigger ever since he returned from his 4 year absence. He had been to a completely different cultured country where he for the first time in his life, witnessed another reality from the one he had been used to. The details weren't known, but the drastic change of Lord Uchiha was well-evident, from his so un-lord like , foreign ideology to his newly-found opposition to the King that he once so fiercely supported.

But what made him even more feared by his avversaries and friends, was how he had the full support of the King, no matter how big his mistakes could get. The king had blind faith in him, even if this confused the majority of his supporters.

The current climate of the political scene, at least as far as it involved the King and his surrounders, was highly conservative, exactly like a medieval standard mindset was supposed to be.

However, Lord Ichiha had done a 360 turn, from that to being a liberal and that's when some people of the royal circle had started calling him a traitor in the backscenes.

And yet, the King had kept a blind eye to all of it.

"What our country needs, is a good leader. And we have him. You, of all people, should know that better, my lord." Lord Manemour said, controlling the angry timber of his voice.

"Have you ever wondered why we keep losing in almost every god damn fight we have given these past decades? Agreed, he is a good leader. But for times that have passed. The rest of the world is progressing. We cant afford to stay behind. This is why the kingdom is falling apart. We NEED to progress." Lord Uchiha said, slamming his hand on the big wooden table.

"Progress? Not everything new and different is good, my lord. Besides, the main reason we keep losing battles is cause the King has been ill for a long time and thus unable to observe and control carefully the happenings, this however doesn't mean we should look past everything good he's done for his people. Once he recovers, he will continue his fine job."

The other men in the room nodded their heads in silent agreement, with a convinced look on their face.

"Hypocrites!" the lord Uchiha stood up from his place.

"Let the ill man be! He's gonna be a goner in no more than a year's time and we all know it! Every doctor that has examined him, has given up on him! I should know, Im the one who travelled all across the kingdom to find the best ones for his majesty for 's not really the reason why you want to keep this dynasty going on! You just love your seats, as long as you still got a king, you can still be a lord and a byron, perhaps even a king, when the right time comes, still be a part of this rotten royal circle that with money or without, always holds you in a comfortable position all above the rest of society, while the non entitled- ones are starving and dying daily out there and you all do not give a damn!"

Lord Uchiha took a deep and long breath in order to calm himself down, then continued his speech.

"Let me phrase it like this. The king is, has been in no place to rule this country for years now, and he has no sons to hand his thrown to."

Lord Manemour gave Uchiha a hard stare.

"The king has a daughter, as we all know. And if you ask me, that comes even handier than a son right now. She's gonna be married to the King of France, and this will provide us with a strong alliance. France has wanted to cease the wars with England as well for a long time now, but they, just like us, havent got a female successor to the thrown for more than 4 decades. Now's the right chance, with Princess Sakura!" Lord Manemour finished, as the other lords shook their head in agreement.

"Princess Sakura? She's only 9 years old, If I remember correctly. The country can't wait that long, or we will all be doomed! What you greedy little king's men here need to understand, is that we got no time for your daydreams and your hunger for power, if you insist on keeping your posts as of now, you will lose everything later on.

There will be no kingdom in which to play lords and byrons and you will end up being killed as the French king's captives sooner than you can count. Trust me on that. I've been in France three times whilst I was away, and I see that things are moving too fast there. They're already planning another attack as we speak! Remove the king and replace him with a bunch of capable progressive and strategic minds."

Lord Manemour hit his hand on the table, suddenly earning Lord's Uchiha's attention.

"How dare you imply that our only role in this government is to milk King's money and power. We have been members of the royal council before you were even born, Uchiha, so you better watch how you speak of your elders and superiors. You say you've been to an enemy country thrice while being away. I wasnt prone to come to conclusions just by your strange ideologies alone due to respect to your father's name but now I believe you have all given us good reason to think of you as a traitor. Gentlemen, I think we can all now tell what's Lord Uchiha's drastic change sparked off."

"Yes, we had seen it coming."

Exactly."

"I agree." voices of the men agreeing in unison were spread across the room.

"If being a traitor means I'm gonna do all it takes for the best of my country, then so be it." Lord Uchiha raised his tone above the murmurs, cutting them short. Lord Manemour felt a new wave of anger growing in him but he had no time to resume his attack to the raven.

"Is that a threat? Blasphemy!" the fiddle voices sounded greatly agitated and bothered.

"So you're going to go against what your father had been fighting for throughout all of his life? Then, I believe you have no more place in this council. I will speak to the King and let him know of your conspiracies against the kingdom as soon as possible."

"Me and my father had been fighting for the same thing: the better good of this country. You, here, are too fighting all for the same thing: your personal interest. Worry not though, for I am quitting from the council myself, this very moment. Good luck to you, gentlemen." and with that, Fugaku Uchiha turned around blocking every thought and scandalized voices from the background and took his leave, crossing the stairs leading to the castle's main entrance in a determined hurry.

"You shouldnt have provoked Uchiha so much, Manemour. You know what he's capable of." one of the council men said.

Manemour gave him an angered glare.

"It was time that someone finally spoke up to that brat. He has half our years and yet he keeps bossing us around. He's gotten too cocky under the King's protection." Manemour said vehemently.

"Well, one thing's for sure, the king will not be pleased with the outcome." Lord Cheryl said.

" Dont be funny. That old fool's too ill to realise he's still alive himself. Nothing will happen."

"Dammnit, my tea has gotten cold." the lord said eyeing his cup annoyed, as he sat back down on his green chair.

After 7 months had passed after the above scene, King Haruno died from his rare illness and the council took over the kingdom until princess Haruno became officially Queen at her 17 years(legal age for someome to become king/queen at the time).

_8 years after..._

"Menma, I don't feel hungry, right now. Bring me the breakfast in my room if you have to, for I won't descend to the dining hall this morning." Sakura said as she gazed at her mirror idol, who sat on a linen green chair, brushing its pink long hair lazily.

The maid walked closer to her mistress and softly took the brush from her hands.

"Let me do this, your majesty." she said with a bit of benevolent giggle.

Sakura's hair was a mess. She had been arguing with the council till very late last night and she didnt even have the energy to take her usual bath before she fell to sleep. They were preparing for a war as off lately, and the state was in a very bad condition, economically-wise.

"Why did I have to be born as a king's child? Ugh, it's so tiring, the council's so demanding from me. What do they expect me, to make gold fall from the sky? I cant create funds for the war out of pure nothing!" Sakura nagged like a little child, as the maid listened to her patiently, whilst brushing her hair.

"Your majesty,you are their queen. You should impose yourself to them and not let them run you around like that. " Menma smiled at her queen through the mirror.

Menma had been taking care of her since her father had died, and the two women, with an age difference of 10 years in between them, had become very close. Sakura couldnt help but see Menma as her older sister, someone she could open up to.

The only one she could open up to. She had ordered Menma repeatedly to not be very formal or typical with her, but instead to treat her like an equal. Menma tried her best but there were times that she couldnt help feeling intimidated by the huge social gap between them, and thus unconsciously still treated her formally every now and then.

"I dont think I could do this. They got more experience than me, thus trying to act as a know it all would be foolish of me. The country's better good is everyone's priority. It's not their fault if they are stuck with such an incapable leader like me." Sakura looked down, frowning.

"Don't say such things! I'm sure your father would be so proud of you if he could see your progress, your majesty!"

"I so doubt this, Menma. Still, I know my father wouldn't like me to quit, he'd like me to keep fighting for the best. This is the thought that keeps me getting up from my bed each morning, my reason for even trying." the queen said in a slightly depressed tone.

"Exactly, your majesty!" Menma said happily as she finished brushing the pink locks and left the brush on the little table.

"Menma, how many times have you called me majesty ever since I woke up this morning? Just call me, Sakura." the pinkette sighed.

"Yes, excuse me. Sakura." the maid corrected herself, gifting her mistress a sweet smile.

"I shall bring you your breakfast now. You should eat something, you're working very hard lately. Will you take your bath first or after, though?" Menma asked kindly.

"Neither. I'll just have a bath late tonight, I have a meeting with the army's general soon, I dont have time."

Sakura said in a tired tone.

"As you say, Sakura." the woman nodded softly and vanished from the room.

Sakura stood up and went inside her bathroom. She dove her hands inside a porseline bucket of cold water and washed her face, scrubbing it hard.

She felt so stressed. She was positive they were going to lose the fight but she had no idea of how to prevent this. The situation with France had been stable for over 3 decades now. They kept fighting each other, both lost or won a few fights here and there but they never came to a result. Neither lost or won enough for them to be considered the war's final victor. Of course, this situation had brought both countries to their knees, destroying their economies and well-fare. That's why the council kept pressing the queen to get married to France's Prince as of lately and this made things even harder for her. She was young and selfish. She felt as if she had already devoted her life to her duty but taking it one step further and marrying someone she didnt love would make it even more unbearable than it already was for her. But at her 18 years, you couldnt really blame her for being immature and uncertain.

"Just give me some space, I promise I'll eventually get married to France in a couple of year's time."

was what she told the council every time that they brought it up. But inside her, she knew that they weren't willing to wait that much. They had waited enough for her to grow up and become the queen as it was.

She looked at her watery face and smiled bitterly at herself. She tried to distract herself from her negative thoughts. Her mind wandered to the only happy memories she had made in her brief life, from her early to late childhood. Memories of Sasuke.

Their fathers had been close friends ever since she could remember herself, so she and Sasuke had practically grown up together after their 4 years and forth, till their 9, when Sasuke's father decided to abandon his post in the castle and left for the province with his family.

Sakura had lost her mother, who died by complications caused in her 2 unsuccesful birth, when she was 2, and her father, the king, had always been busy with his duties, so she found a lot of comfort in Sasuke's company. The only one who aknowledged her as a real living being, as someone equal,...as a friend.

Sasuke had been a good friend too, even if not very expressive. He would always be there to protect her, like catch her before she fell, treat her wounds if she did fall, pick her up and carry her when she was too tired to walk herself after their long strolls in the palace's vast gardens.

Of course, the times such things happened were few and counted, since besides hanging out for 5 years, they didnt meet as often as it may seem. And even then, the majority of the other times, Sasuke was just a friendly but reserved little boy. But still, those few times that he took care of her, mattered a lot to Sakura, as most similar things do when we are that young and emotionally more vulnerable to situations and people.

That's why, when she felt that everything else was crumbling to the ground in her world, she wandered with her mind to her childhood friend and their bittersweet memories soothed her troubled soul. She hadnt seen him ever again, not even once, after he left for the province and she had stayed back, wondering where he had vanished to.

It wasnt until some years later, that she picked up from some servants gossiping that his father had taken him to a provicial town because he didnt want to be associated to the king anymore. Even though she had come to know the reason, she still never understood why. She had remembered Uchiha and Haruno to be good friends, her father and Sasuke's hadnt even fought once over serious matters. Then again, it was only that far that a child's mind could go.

But as the years passed, she stopped tormenting her mind with questions that she couldn't answer and eventually gave up on expecting to see Sasuke ever again. With time, the nagging feeling of his absence became just a bittersweet memory.

She walked back into her bedroom as she heard the familiar footsteps outside the room.

She sat on her chair and looked at her breakfast, considering to at least try and eat a single bite, no matter how hard it felt for her due to her mood. She had a busy day ahead though, and she had enough sense to realise that she had to eat better if she wanted to become more efficient,

"Here, Sakura-chan."Menma said as she left the disc with the fresh breakfast material on the little round table in front of the big window.

"Thank you, Menma. Have you eaten anything since last night, you poor thing?" Sakura asked, looking at her maid with concern.

"I'll eat soon enough, along with the rest of the staff. Thank you." the maid smiled pleasantly.

"You'll eat their leftovers you mean. You cant have a proper food with all those people eating on. Come sit next to me, let's eat together." Sakura said, smiling at her maid.

"No, Sakura. I really mean it. I'm fine." the maid blushed, thinking it was too inproper for a maid and her queen to eat at the same table.

Sakura merely nodded, not wanting to put her in a harder position.

She sighed as her troubled mind wandered off.

"I wonder how Sasuke's doing." she whispered and then almost froze with holding her milk cup in mid air, as she realised she had said that out loud. Nevertheless, she thought she might as well keep being vocal about it, afterall Menma was familiar with Sasuke, since Sakura used to talk about him to her quite often till she became 12. She still talked about him from time to time, but anymore it would be once per year, and usually it was brought up by sheer chance. She had toughened up all those years that followed after her father's death and Sasuke's sudden leave.

"I bet he's totally forgotten of me by now." she chuckled bitterly, more to herself, as she brought the cup with the hot milk to her lips.

"Your majesty, didn't you hear? Lord Uchiha's back in town these days." Menma said, not being able but stare at her mistress in curiosity, as she expected her reaction.

"Sasuke? He's back? When?" Sakura exclaimed surprised, almost spitting the milk she had just put in her mouth.

Menma had to supress her giggles and do an inhuman effort at that. It wasnt that she wanted to laugh at her queen, but it was amusing to see how quickly she got excited with Sasuke's mention. She rarely ever saw her happy, these days.

"It's been two or three days, I think. Anyways, that's just what I've heard from unofficial sources, your majesty." Menma said leaning her head donwards lightly.

"You mean from servants' gossiping." Sakura raised a happy eyebrow at her. She tried to supress her smile but failed, even if she had a nervous feeling agitating her heart.

She was up in an instant.

" I have to get ready for the meeting with the general." the queen said, as she headed towards the formal clothes laying on her cannopy bed's covers.

Menma nodded kindly and wandered off the room, leaving the pinkette in peace, knowing better than to take the sudden change of subject as indifference from Sakura's part to the news.

15 Minutes later, Sakura had put on her formal attire that she used when she had meetings with her army's generals and was already heading to her meeting, whilst nothing in her pace or behaviour, gave out anything about the strangely agitated rhythm in which her heart fluttered.

TBC

Thank you for reading and bearing with my terrible writing up to this point!

…...

Review/comment!


	2. Choose

" Good evening, generals." Sakura made a light bow to the two men who had been awaiting for her in the library.

"Evening, your majesty." their words were kind but Sakura could recognise that look of understimation that they unconsciouly gave her, as if they were thinking "she's too young-inexperienced to rule this country."

Sakura didnt let this drop her mood and instead assumed a confident posture and walked towards the big wooden table where the world map was laid.

She took a careful look at it, pointendly ignoring the curious stares of the two generals.

"What's our plan, generals?" she asked with a serious tone.

"To surprise the enemy, your majesty. We plan to catch them off guard in order to get the upper hand in the start of the battle." the shorter man said.

The grown up men looked carefully as the queen observed the map carefully raising an eyebrow with a not understanding look on her youthful face.

She placed her finger on a spot with a red line, indicating the battlefield where her army would make an unexpected attack to the enemy.

"What's this?" she asked, trying to control her rising temper.

" That's the spot where we plan to ambass the enemy, your majesty. " one of the men spoke, stepping closer to look at the map.

"How exactly do you plan to catch the enemy of guard in a full out open god damn valley?" Sakura bursted, turning to look at them, in awe.

"Your majesty, there's no other spot better than this at this time. Our men will hide among the vast tree-lines and shoot their arrows to the enemy."

"And have them burn the trees along with the soldiers hiding in them?" Sakura asked, staring at the men.

"This isn't gonna happen, your maje..."

"It sure did happen the last time we did it! They spotted you from like half a mile far and shot a fire arrow to the forest and that was all it took for our soldiers to abandon their cover and get themselves exposed and slaughetered! So dont tell me it didnt happen! I want to hear another plan, coming from you. You're experienced men, this cant possibly be the only way you can come up with to ambuss the enemy!" Sakura yelled.

"I'm afraid it is, my queen. The army doesn't have the equipment recquired to cross and spend weeks and months on the rough hills of this land!" the general raised his tone, earning an offended glare by Sakura.

She tried to keep her calm. Fighting with the generals wouldnt take her anywhere.

"Then buy it." she said slowly after a deep breath.

"With what money, my queen? You of all people should know that there are no more funds for the army and for months now, we're doing our best with whatever equipement's left over by the previous battles." the taller man said.

Sakura leaned her head down in dissapointment. No matter how much she didnt want to admit it, the men were right and she was being unreasonable. She had to show a maturity she didnt have in all of her 18 years, but she'd figure she'd try, either way.

She stayed silent for a few seconds, then raised her head and gave a weak confident smile to them.

" Very well. If that's what it takes I'm willing to sell half the castle's fortune in order to gather the funds needed for the full equipment of the army. We've got some pretty old and precious antiques inside the palace, passed on from many generations of my ancestors ago, I'm sure they will sell good in the foreign markets. Will this be enough?" she asked, with a glimpse of naivety.

The two men fell silent and looked hesitantly at each other.

"I'm afraid you will have difficulty doing that, your majesty." Inoichi finally said, breaking the heavy silence.

"And why is that?" Sakura frowned impatiently.

"We had suggested such a solution to the elders of the council before and they fiercely turned it down." the general explained.

"Why would they?" the pinkette asked again, a bad feeling rising inside her.

"Because they say that the palace's inheritance belongs to the country's national treasures and therefore it would be a big disgrace for our nation to sell it out. It will be a sign to France that it has brought us to our knees and humiliated , I dont think so." the man said.

Sakura lost her words. She felt anger rising at her cheeks at those words but stayed heavily pensive at the same time.

How could the elders afford to think so close mindedly in a time like this?

"I will talk to them, I will convince them." Sakura said in a faked determined tone, but inside her, she was afraid of the outcome. She had come to know how stubborn the elders could get, especially when it came to old values and things having to do with the palace itself. Even if she was a queen, she couldnt make it to impose on them at all times, if at all. Law had it that when the ruler was a female, she could not make decisions apart from her council and for whatever she wanted or planned to do, the council's approval was definately necessary first, except for a few cases. But the current one, sadly, didn't fall in the exceptions category.

The men gave her a look as if thinking that it was a lost cause of her to even try and negotiate with the council. The weak of her character didn't help the situation when it came to that, either.

"Leave it on me." Sakura said, as she nodded her head as in dismissing them.

"Please, let us know the outcome, my queen." Inoichi said and Sakura gave another soft nod.

" I will." she said and she was surprised by how confident she had sounded.

The men took their leave from the vast library and Sakura sat on a chair, leaning intensely over the map and studying it closely.

_I will win this fight._

* * *

><p>"Sarah, did you know that handsome young lord Uchiha is back in town? Can you believe it? My sister who saw him yesterday says that he's such an eye candy!" a female servant cheerfully chatted to another one, as they swept one of the palace's rooms.<p>

"Oh my, oh my! I've heard it, too! My mother saw him ,too! It will be so delightful if he comes to visit the palace, don't you think?He should be like 18 now, that's what rumours say! Then again, why would he come? I mean he never seemed to care about it up till now.!" the other girl said in excitement.

"Oh dont be silly! Why else would he come all of a sudden back to the capital? He should have no business here, otherwise."

"Well, what do I know! I'd like to think the same! Do you remember when he was still a kid and played around the castle? He was soo cute! I'm so curious to see him now!"

"But...will the palace accept him fine? Old Lord Uchiha was almost declared a traitor after he left for the province..." a third female servant popped in, older enough than those girls, to have more common sense.

"Ohh, Nelly, that's just rumours! He was never officially stated as a traitor, at least not by the king himself!" one of the girls replied back.

"Yeah, cause the old man was too ill back then to realise that doesn't matter anyway, only a fool wouldnt know that the true power in this state lies on the council of the old farts. Whether it was male or female on the throne, they had always been the ones to move the strings around." the old woman said.

"Pfft, Nelly, you grew old and you started speaking nonsense! Listen to yourself, how could the council have more power than a king?" the girls giggled in disbelief.

The old servant just shook her head and walked away back to her chores She had lived long enough in the palace , around 4 decades, to know how things trully were and thus she chose to give no further importance to the young girls' wishful and ignorant assumptions. If anything, the council would all but welcome the young Uchiha back to his roots.

"What about old lord Uchiha? Is he coming, too? Now, that'd be even more shocking!"

"There are no rumours about him. Noone knows anything. I wonder what he's up to."

the two servants resumed their gossip.

* * *

><p>Sakura was resting in her room, thinking intensely of how to approach the council about the army-matter. She laid on her bed and dropped her head on her pillow, while rubbying her forehead roughly as if that'd give her any idea to get her out of this mess.<p>

Menma knocked kindly on the door.

"Come in." Sakura said, sighing tiredly.

The maid approached the bed and looked at the young girl, with concern.

"How did the meeting go your majesty?" she asked gently.

"Terrible. Nothing came out of it. I have to convince the council about something that I'm almost sure they'd rather die than to accept.I'm such a failure of a queen!" Sakura yelled the last phrase as she hid her face on her pillow.

"Oh don't say that, Sakura! It's not your fault that the old council is so stubborn!"

"And yet, I'm expected to impose myself to them. Isn't that what a queen should do?" Sakura asked with a muffled voice.

"Yes, that's right." Menma said in a whisper, as she looked at the pinkette pensively.

"I don't want to talk about it ,no further. As previously, bring whatever food for me, here. I wish to have lunch alone again today."

"As you wish." Menma said before vanishing silently from the room. After a while she returned with Sakura's rich supper which she left on the small round table by the big window.

"Thank you, darling." Sakura whispered, without even turning to look at the other woman.

Menma nodded silently in response and left the room.

Sakura got up from her lying posture and sat on the small round elegant chair. She picked up her fork and ate three bites ,exactly. No matter how hard she pressed herself to eat more, her stomach would simply refuse to fit any more than that. She had been so busy for a couple of months now, preparing for this battle, that she didn't have time to even eat at the start, and thus little by little, she lost her apperite. But losing weight only made her crankier and gave her a blurry mind.

She got up and started walking towards the bathroom, but her legs gave away from the exhaustion and she fainted at half her way there.

She stayed there lying on the floor for about half an hour, sleeping a deep sleep. When she woke up, she was shocked to find herself on the floor before she realised that she had merely fainted. She slowly stood up and forced herself to eat some more.

Menma knocked on the door and Sakura gave a faint "come in". The maid gave Sakura a curious glance but then proceeded to pick up the leftovers from the table.

"Is your majesty fine?" she asked in a low tone.

"Yes, I'm good." Sakura lied, as she sat on her bed, waiting for Menma to finish cleaning up.

"The council asked me to remind you that you have to be present at the royaltie's gathering at the castle's main acceptance hall."

"On, not that again. How many times do I have to explain to them that I'm too busy for such trivialities?"Sakura murmured more to herself, annoyance obvious to her voice.

"Tell them I won't go." she gave Menma an answer, realising she hadn't properly turned it down before.

Menma gave her a worried look but decided against insisting. If the council had problems with her mistress, they'd better solve it alone. She was just transfering messages, afterall.

" Alright." the maid finally said, breaking the silence.

"Do you need something else?" the girl asked before heading out.

Sakura's eyes seemed to lighten up at a sudden thought.

"Yes,... yes! Tell me, Menma, did you hear anything new about Sasuke?" Sakura's tone was childish and excited, just like a kid asking what they bought him for presents.

Menma giggled lightly at Sakura's reaction.

"Now, your majesty. If I learn something new, I'll let you know." she resumed, smiling.

Sakura realised she had lost her composure and straightened up.

"Whatever, I have more important issues to care for right now." she said, with a serious tone, as she turned away from the maid and walked back to her bed.

Menma shook her head in silent amusement behind Sakura's back and left the room.

_I shouldn't be thinking about that Sasuke now. I must focus on not failing my people. I must make it so that we win this battle. We need it._

Sakura spent the entire evening in the stables, where she had the people responsible for the army's equipment, to tell her, what it lacked and what they'd need to buy in addition if they wanted to fight on the snowy hills and give her a rough estimation of the alltogether costs.

The men said that they would need at least two days to make the accounts, because the army was big and the existant equipment highly variable. But they did reassure her, to her disdain, that the cost would eventually be very high, due to the big equipment necessities for the execution of such a battle.

When she finished with that, she walked all the way back to her room from secret passages so that she would avoid drawing the attention of the castle's people, and changed her clothes to get ready for the council that was going to be held tonight. She took a look at herself in the mirror and she almost flinched at how unlady like she looked. Her hair was a mess, and she seemed dirty from all the wandering around in the muddy stables. She brushed her hair in a hurry, and sat on her bed, studying the battle map that she had laid on her lap.

The more she looked at it, the less she felt able to come up with an alternative solution, in case she lost against the council.

She spent roughly an hour, studying the map so intensely, that her head had started to hurt.

She carefully folded it and stood up to fix the folds of her dress.

She took a last glance at the mirror, trying to give herself confidence, and walked in a determined pace out of her bedroom.

As she entered the council room, she could feel suddenly all whispers becoming more intense and all eyes pinning her judgementaly.

"You're late." she heard a random voice coming from across the table.

She took a look at the big round clock.

"Just 4 minutes late, I am." she said in a controlled tone, already annoyed. Those men did nothing but sit on their asses all day long and nag about everything , whislt she was working her ass off to get things ready and they had the nerve to call her out on such a small delay?

She placed the map on top of the table and opened it, making sure she did as much noise as possible in the midwhile. She wanted to get done with it and have everyone's attentions.

But before she could start off about the army' issue, lord Manemour broke the murmurs all around with his loud voice.

"Your majesty, today was the sixth time in consequense that you didnt show up in the royal court. What is wrong with you?" the old man said in a clearly judgemental tone.

"Well, what's wrong with me, Lord Manemour, is that I'm working hard to get things ready for this war and I dont have time for such nonsense." Sakura said, looking at him stably.

Red color rose to the man's cheeks, thinking that the young queen was being too audacient.

"Nonsense? Nonsense? How dare you..." Lord Manemour started saying clearly upset but lord Cheryl cut him off, trying to ease the situation.

"My queen, should I remind you that being present in the royal evening court gathering is a part of your duties?" lord Cheryl spoke up.

Sakura turned her gaze to him.

"I see no importance in such a duty, least not in a time in which we are preparing for a war." she said in a fakely calm tone.

" A good queen should find time for all of her duties, or else she shouldn't be a queen at all." Lord Manemour whispered, but Sakura chose to totally ignore that comment. She reminded herself that she wasn't just Sakura now, but she was playing the role of a queen, and her people's well-fare was in a higher priority than her personal pride.

"Ok, if I could please have your attention. Tonight, I want us to discuss for an important matter regarding the army we're preparing for the upcoming fight at the country's most nothern parts."

Everyone was looking at her carefully.

She slammed her finger on the uncovered map, exactly to the position of the valley chosen for the fight.

"This" she emphasized the word "place is not suitable for a victory. We lack the equipment needed and the only strategy to our favour given our current army state is to shock the enemy, something that can't and has repeatedly failed to succeed in the past."

"If we want to have the upper hand in this battle, we have to move the fighting post from the valley to a more strategical point, which, according to me and the generals who agreed with me, is the snowy Highlander hills. The snow will make it more difficult for the enemy not used to it in their country, to move around and fight properly, and the hills will give us the advantage of coverage and ambuss. But I suppose you already know how these things work." Sakura explained without taking a single breath.

"Where do you want to go with this?" one of the lords asked, impatiently.

"We lack equipment, gentlemen. And equipment costs money. But we also lack that, thanks to the continuous battles. So I suggest to sell as many of the palace's antiques and treasures as we can to nearby countries so as to gather a sufficient amount of funds for this battle and the ones to follow. I already have made a list of the objects that could..."

"Hold on, hold on! What?" lord Manemour cut her off and Sakura knew that it had just started.

"The palace's antiques and legacies are part of our national treasure and have been around for centuries, some even from the start of its existance. How could we possibly sell those out? Are you seriously thinking before you speak?" the old lord kept on, as his voice got united with the voices of the other lords who disagreed intensely with Sakura's suggestion.

"WE, my lords, are in one of the BIGGEST crises that this country has gone through during the last century and trust me, being the old and experienced bunch of lords you are, you should understand that selling out some of the useless anticques lying pointlessly around this castle would be a very small sacrifice in the alter of our victory!" Sakura talked in a very high tone, that made even her own head hurt. She was really dissapointed in her close mindedness and she planned to show it.

"Oh please, for all the years that I've been alive, we've been through far worse battles and not even once did we have to sell out something to gather what was necessary for the army. Our army is tough and you should trust it more, we got some of the most devoted soldiers in the continent! I'm sure your father could confirm that if he was alive, your majesty!" Lord Manemour said, making Sakura walk around agitated, in circles.

"Nonsense! Back in my father's days, there was no crises, and the fighter's ethic was different! We havent even won half our battles ever since my father fell ill! Do you realise that if this keeps going, there will be no longer a nation for you to keep your "national treasures" in? France is slowly and surely getting the upper hand. We NEED to make some drastic changes, NOW." Sakura finished, slamming her hand on the map.

The lords stayed looking at her extremely annoyed.

"What do you know, your majesty? You havent even been on the throne for more than a year and we have been around for over half a century now. Don't you think that taking such drastic measures wouldnt be good for your reputation, so early in your ruling career? Selling out the castle's fortune will only serve to scream that we are desperate to our enemies, and speaking of national ethic, thats certainly not what you want to achieve, am I correct?" Lord Cheryl tried to talk sense to the queenn.

"No, you're all wrong! Why don't you see it? I dont care how old you are, or how old I am! But open your eyes before it's too late! The people dont give a damn about YOUR fortune, it serves nothing but to mantain ancient stereotypes of people who no longer exist! They are practically useless! What would help people to become confident again, what would give them hope, would be to finally start winning a battle! And how is this going to happen if we don't change some things? As you've seen so far, using the same and less equipment each time, every time, does not work! And this is just an example, cause there are many things that need to change, but we got to start from somewhere. We need to strenghthen our army, just give people better living and fighting conditions and they will try harder. The people aren't ungrateful." Sakura said, as she sat on her chair exhausted.

The lords stared at her, speechless. They had no more points to oppose to her but they weren't willing to step back.

"You're young and foolish. We won't accept this nonsense. Period." Lord Manemour said.

Sakura stood up from her chair and gave him a hard glare.

"I'm your queen, did you forget that?" she asked and gave everyone in the round the same look.

"Exactly, you're a queen, not a king. And a young one at that. By law you need our agreement in order to enforce changes, and you shall not have it this time. Otherwise, get married to the French Prince so that the battles can finally cease and the country will be at peace. If you so love your country, as you say, that is..." Lord Cherryl said.

Sakura looked at him, then back at the map. She felt tears welling up her eyes.

Yes, it was a simpler solution. And yes, she was selfish for not getting this over the simple-marriage way. Yet, she knew that the lords just wanted to get rid of her and replace her with a king instead. But apart from her not wanting to get married, there was a more deeply rooted reason that she denied such a solution. When she was a kid, and her father was ill, he would at times call her at his room and talk for hours with her, asking her to promise to him that after he died, she wouldn't hand the throne over to no foreign ruler, let alone a French one because this'd be the end of their kingdom.

And he spoke again the same things with such intensity and passion the night before he died, that the words got marked in Sakura's mind and she promised to herself to do her best to fulfill her father's wish.

She couldn't understand why the council lords couldn't realise that this wouldnt simply be the end of all wars between them and France, but also the end of their existance as an indepedent nation.

She, perhaps, was too naive, with all her 18 years, to understand that little did the greedy, immoral council, care for the country's well-fare but always have had personal interest in their minds.

"I won't get married to no Prince! He has to be a King, but he's already married, am I right? I'm a Queen, do not expect me to settle for less." Sakura said ,half truth-half lie. She had to earn herself time.

"That prince is going to become King soon, enough, your majesty. You have to make a choice soon!"

"Why? Because you can't give up on your god damn useless anticques?" Sakura said, before turning away and walking towards the exit The lords broke out in a crazed and irritated chatter behind her and she felt tears forming in her eyes. Had she given up on trying to convince them? Why did she do the same everytime that they tried to talk her into marriage? She was in a dilemma, let her country get ruined or let it get ruined. It was the same result, whatever way she chose. She felt her heart stopping as her ear caught some very rude remarks about her person in the background.

"So immature!"

"So audacious!"

"It's good the King isn't alive to see what she's doing!"

"So arrogant!"

She placed her hand on the door's handle and was about to pull it down and get away from that room, but she felt a hand grabbing her arm softly.

Turning sighlty around, she came face to face with Lord Manemour, who gave her a calmer look now.

"Your majesty, before you leave, let me tell you this last thing: Please, do come tomorrow to the morning royal court's gathering. Important royalties who haven't been in the court for some time are going to be present tomorrow, and it'd be proper of the Queen to be present as a sign of respect. Most of them are returning from the battlefields, may I add. It'd be a good chance to gather intel of what's happening around your kingdom." the lord said, looking at her strictly.

For an unknown reason, Sasuke's image flashed through her mind but it was as quickly gone from it. Sakura tried to focus on what the man had told her whilst feeling somewhat dizzy from all the noise going on in the filled room.

Not being able to think clearly, Sakura finally looked at him tired, completely ignoring his plead.

"So, is it a no about the royal property?" she asked, refering to their previous heated discussion over the battle funds.

"Yes." the lord said coldly and stably.

With that, Sakura averted her eyes from the stubborn lord and tagged her arm away from his grasp, exiting the noisy room without looking back.

As she walked back to the room accompanied by a throbbing headache, she couldn't help but think she had yet once more dissapointed her father.

TBC

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><p>R&amp;R!<p> 


	3. I saw

W.N.: Sorry for being late to update but I was crazy busy with life! And this chapter's kinda short but it's one that had to be done so I could move on with the plot. Tell me what you think! Cheers.

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><p>Sakura walked inside her room and locked her door in a hurry. She couldnt wait to be alone, all by herself, so she could allow herself to take any facial expression, do any move, say anything without feeling judged. She slammed her back against the door and grabbed the long sleeves of her blue dress.<p>

She felt so enraged about how she had handled the council tonight. She thought she had them beaten for a moment there, till they brought up the marriage issue again and made her lose her aim.

She dragged the sleeves violently, undressing herself like a crazed animal, thirsty for freedom.

The royal clothe fell on the floor and she stayed clad with her white underwear. These last weeks that she had a lot of work to do, she had given up on wearing corsets, as they only made her task harder for her, the way she had to move up and down all day.

Walking closer to the mirror, she stared at her idol, who looked right back at her, examining her body.

Right now, she could pass for any average citizen, a low class even, with all the dirt of the past days filling her pores and the plain, rough underwear that covered just the basics.

She stared at her tired face, through her messy pink locks that fell in front of it. She blew air to move the hair out of the way, thinking she'd see her idol crying in the mirror.

But when she touched her face, no tears were coming out. Her skin was dry and emotionless like a rock, as if with time had lost the ability to express any emotions.

She walked into the bathroom, ridding herself of her underwear. The bath tube, filled with water, once hot, now cold, had been waiting for her.

She rubbed her head and got in the white vast tube, hoping she'd be able to release all the tension trapped inside her with the help of the warm soothing water. But the water had become cold and it only sent shivers down her spines, as it filled her pores. Slightly trembling, she started rubbying herself the way Menma used to rub her when she was still a child. She ran the sponge roughly all across her legs and hands, with so much pressure that it started to hurt, but yet she couldnt stop. She felt as if she had become something dirty and needed to scrub her skin really hard in order to regain her lost purity.

She rubbed till her skin had become all red and clean and then she laid back and dove her head in the water, lying with her back against the bottom of the tube. She kept her breath for quite sometime underwater, resting with her emerald eyes open, observing the way the water made everything look so different out of it. Everything seemed so distant, so much more serene, so much more stiller, whilst she was inside it. Feeling her lungs screaming for air, she broke the surface abruptly and took a big inhale of air.

After she was done cleaning herself with the oriental oils that she had ordered to bring her some weeks ago, she got out of the water and wrapped herself with a fresh but short towel.

She shivered, as her body begged for warmth but it wasn't time yet. She sat in front of her mirror, and helped her hair out of their horrible mess. Menma was usually kind to her when she brushed it, but Sakura had less patience than the maid. She brushed it roughly and impatiently, till it completely obeyed her and finally took the form she had been trying to give to it.

She sighed and stood up, making some steps towards the fire place that lit up her room.

She sat on the carpet in front of it and let the fire's warmth surround her. She laid down half naked and attempted to take a nap in front of the fire.

Her door was locked, there was nobody who could interrupt or disturb her till the morning. But she couldnt get herself to relax and sleep. A feeling kept nagging at her. A thought swimming around in her mind. And she finally stood up, as the thought became clear: Sasuke.

Manemour had said that royalties that hadn't been in the royal court for a long time would be present. So, could this mean that Sasuke would be coming too? There were rumours about him being in town.

She took a deep breath and dried herself off, before putting on her night dress and falling to bed.

Maybe it was worth it attending the boring and pointless royal court just this once...In case Sasuke was there. Just out of curiosity. To see how much he had changed.

With that thought, she fell fast asleep, giving in her tired body's demands.

"Your majesty! Are you fine? Sakura!" Menma raised her voice , in worry.

Sakura slowly woke up only to realise there was someone yelling and knocking on her door.

Then it shoot her like lightning that she had overslept, for Menma to come checking her out.

"I am fine, Menma!" she shouted, making sure that she silenced the maid.

"Oh alright! Please, open the door." the woman said.

"I'll be fine. I'll be down in a while, just give me some time to get ready." Sakura said, as she rubbed her eyes and got up from the bed slowly.

"If your majesty would let me in to take care of your morning preparations."

"I'll take care of myself alone, today. Please, leave." Sakura said. She wanted to look pretty for Sasuke but she was too proud to let Menma assume so. Afterall, it'd be ridiculous for a queen with her problems to occupy with such foolish matters as looking pretty for a guy. And not just any guy, but the one who had left and never bothered to show a sign that he existed up till now. Thus Sakura had every reason to feel embarassed and she knew it.

Menma had already left, even if her queen's request had weirded her out. Sure, lately Sakura had given up on trying to look good but Menma had assumed that if the girl planned to attend the court, she would at least try to look decent.

Sakura put on her new royal underwear and spent half an hour trying to tie the corset around her chest, turning at the mirror for help. After that, she put on her formal white dress that was tight from the waist and up and quite full and rounded from the waist and below.

She put on a bit of make-up, making sure she had conceiled the dark marks under her eyes and put some rouge to give some colour to her extremely pale skin. After that, she gathered her long hair and caught it upwards into a tight hold, making sure that not a single hair had escaped.

She wanted to look strict, simple, intimidating, mature. She had to make an impression.

She stayed still for a couple of minutes, observing her work in the mirror. She had done quite a decent job, her lack of experience in the "field", taken into account.

"Alright, here it goes..." she whispered to herself and took a deep breath before she got up and walked out of the room.

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><p>Everyone was staring at her from the very moment she had left her room to the moment she crossed down all the stairs to reach first floor, as if they had seen an allien.<p>

No, even worse, you're the queen, she reminded herself.

She swallowed deeply. She knew this would happen. Nothing new. She should have been used by now to everyone staring at her.

Menma found her somewhere along her way down and she quickly approached her.

"Your majesty, are you sure you don't want me to make you over?" the maid asked, blushing ever slightly from her own bold question.

"It's fine, Menma, I'm all set. Now, is my carriage ready?" Sakura asked impatiently.

"Yes, yes, it is waiting for you at the castle's entrance, milady." the maid nodded kindly and stepped out of the way, looking downwards.

"Look at me."Sakura ordered in a serious tone. The maid seemed surprised at first, but then she raised slowly her gaze to her queen.

"Thanks." Sakura said, her up to now serious face melting into a smile.

"I'll see you later." she said hurridly and walked off.

Menma mumbled something kind in response as she watched her mistress walking away in a fast but stable pace.

"Good morning, your majesty." Lord Cheryl said at the pinkette as she appeared at the castle's gate, trying to appear calm and collected.

"Good morning, my Lord. Where is everyone else?" she asked meaning the council members, after taking a quick look around her.

Lord Cheryl cleared his throat.

"They are already there." he said finally, raising an eyebrow.

Sakura blushed lightly, thinking that she had been late for the greeting ceremony.

"...Oh. Let's not keep them waiting, then." she said smiling and with that, she was aided by a bystanding servant to get in the carriage. Lord Cheryl nodded and got on his horse, walking ahead before the carriage parted.

Sakura had already began feeling bored by the time the carriage was close to its destination, even if the distance covered wasn't long. She pushed the curtains from the small window ever so lightly aside, and took a quick look at the town streets full of people that had come to attend the "Welcoming ceremony" of the lords who returned to the country or town after being in a war or just those who wanted to pay the town a visit and give their respect to the queen.

It was an event that happened almost every year, but it was Sakura's first time to attend it, since this time she just wanted to see if the rumours about Sasuke coming to town were true. As the queen, it was kinder of her to attend but it wasnt obbligatory, especially with her being busy over organizing her army for the war.

So, this time, that she had actually showed up for it, she noticed many civilians looking at her royal carriage and its followers, with mixed feelings of surprise and curiosity.

She swallowed deeply to burry the feeling of nervousness inside her. She didnt like big crowds, and she'd have avoided this event if she could, but for some reason, her heart kept telling her to go and for the same reason, she couldn't disobey it. Not this once. This feeling scared her, mostly because she wasnt sure of what it was just yet. But she kept telling herself that it could only be nothing but curiosity. Afterall, Sasuke had been her only childhood friend, it was natural to wonder about him.

The crowd was very loud and the ceremony had a very cheerful and festival feeling about it. Some people burst out in clapping when the carriage passed in front of them and others shouted things she couldnt quite make out. But she had a feeling that some of them weren't that nice.

Ignoring the crowd's noise, she focused on fixing her dress and gloves. As the carriage came closer to its destination, the more nervous she felt. It wasn't her first time appearing in front of such a big crowd(the first had been the day she had received the stem in the ceremony of her queen entitlement), yet her heart was making her feel weird things all of a sudden.

She couldnt put her mind to it, but she felt as if she had experienced this feeling before, in the past. It felt familiar yet she couldnt remember what it was.

Her fingers were subconsciously fiddling with her dress's ripples when she felt the carriage coming to a stop. A voice inside her head told her "finally". She stayed perfectly still for a few seconds.

She knew a servant was out, already expecting for her move to help her down the carriage.

She firmly opened the door and placed her leg on the narrow step of the carriage.

The servant bowed kindly and extended his arm for her to grab on.

After Sakura had been helped down the carriage, she took a fast glance around. The carriage had stopped a little further from where the crowd was, which was limited from that area with restricting measures, such as ropes and her royal guard that was all lined up along the path that the lords were supposed to cross.

She looked around for her council members, and it took her some time to spot them. They were sitting at their own personal pedestal, somewhere close to her thrown, but not too close. Speaking of which, she had to go up quite a few stairs for her to sit down and she wasnt looking forward to it, with that long gown of her making it hard to move.

Realising that she had stood there for more than enough, she let out an annoyed breath and set off for her throne. She went up the stairs by carefully gripping at the sides of her gown and raising them slightly above the ground. When she finally reached the throne they had set up for her, she felt relieved. Letting out a tired breath, she sat down on it and looked at the crowd from her high spot. They didnt sound so loud now, for which she was thankful. Left and right of her throne, two royal guards were standing still.

She turned to the one at her right.

"Has the ceremony started yet?" she asked, feeling like a fool for not knowing that. Still her council had the idiotic idea to settle themselves far from her throne, so she didnt have many other options.

The guard looked shocked that she had spoken to him and lost his words for a few moments but then spoke almost too fast.

"No, not yet." he said nervously.

"Alright, good." Sakura said and returned her glance to the crowd and then to the path that was decorated with flowers left and right and people bystanders behind the limiting chains.

She had began feeling impatient. She didnt feel all that at ease, where she was sitting with everyone being able to look up at her and observe her as if she was some kind of a rare artifact in a museum.

She turned her glace at her council which seemed too busy chattering heatidly amongst themselves.

She sighed softly and held her chin in boredom and akwardness.

Suddenly, the loud sound of a trumpet filled the air and for a lil while it covered the costant voices of the chattering crowd. Sakura's heart skipped a beat from the surprise, yet she tried to spot where the sound had come from.

A little closer to the council's seats, there were two men, one holding a big golden trumpet and one holding a long white scroll, which, Sakura, safely assumed was the list with the lords that had come to visit and some few other men a bit further equipped with musical instruments.

What she didn't get is why on earth those two men who played the role of the announcers, had been placed close to the council and not her. She felt her cheeks reddening with anger. Perhaps it was something she'd have to ask them later.

For the time being, she chose to ignore that detail and focus on the ceremony that was obviously starting right now.

The trumpet played a brief monotone but cheerful tune, faithful to the ones played for welcoming an important person. Sakura had a vague memory of similar tunes played whenever her father the king returned to town.

If only that was the case now. She thought and her heart clenched slightly.

The other man started naming the visitors.

Sakura's mind was taken violently back to reality, her whole focus on the names that were in that list.

"We are honoured to announce Lord Yamakana's arrival!" the announcer shouted and the crowd went automatically silent. The trumpet played the monotone tune again and the people bursted into an applause, as the prementioned Lord was crossing the welcoming path, on his horse in a slow and stable pace, while some of the crowd threw flowers at him.

Lord Yamanaka was a blonde, well built man that was known for being a good and victorious fighter. His wealthy clan was also an old and well accepted one in the kingdom. Sakura could recall hearing his name several times before, especially while her father was still alive.

The blond middle aged man, moved his gaze up to the queen and raised his hand for a few minutes in a gesture of a respectful greeting.

Sakura blushed intensely, and automatically raised her hand in a similar way at the man, not knowing how she should respond in such situations.

It appeared to her that the man seemed to crack a small smile, but being far from him, she wasn't too sure. She took a glance at her council and she found some of the lords sending death glares her way.

_Oh__my__god,__what__have__I__done__wrong?_She thought panicked. Observing them better, she noticed how they stared at her hand and mumbled dissaprovingly or mockingly amongst them.

It finally hit her and she automatically lowered her hand which fell iddly on her lap, as she was feeling embarassed and blushing like an idiot.

_These__things__are__totally__not__my__thing._ She nagged internally.

"Announcing Lord Hyuga's arrival!" the announcer yelled, catching Sakura off guard. She almost flinched when the man shouted.

She looked intently at the next Lord on the road who was now the one the trumpets welcomed and the crowd applauded with flowers.

She was too far to be sure, but she felt like his face was familiar. The Lord raised his hand, as the one before him had, to greet the queen. Sakura gave a soft nod with her head in aknowlegdment.

With a fast glance at the council, she noticed that they didn't upset this time, so she assumed that it was okay to greet them like that.

Furthermore, she didnt understand why such trivial foolish details were that important. If you greet someone, you do it however you can, why should it matter? But being the queen she was, she unfortunately had learned far ago that she had to adjust to typicalities such as this all the time, whether she liked them or not.

Music started being played by the band, and it had a soft cheerful tune. Sakura wondered what was so cheerful with the country being in a war. Perhaps the people wanted to forget their miserable present and make themselves feel better with such ceremonies and manifestations but for Sakura, being already in the leading role for a while, it was hard to appreciate most of those lords-at least those who joined the fights and she couldnt be trully cheerful for their ceremony.

A lot of them asked for big sums from the castle, in order to join the battles and support the army and then went around pretending they were national saviours and heroes. Sakura had often come to wonder how much of a participation they really had during their battles. After having been in so many battles, one would think they'd have been dead or injured by now but they always came back perfectly fine to ask her for more money to join the next battle.

Sakura wasn't the one handling those matters though, it was the council. If it was at her hand, she wouldnt give them a single penny.

_How__boring._ She thought.

"Announcing Lord Ishall's arrival!"

Sakura nodded at the greeting man, impatiently waiting to hear the one name she had been expecting for since the beggining of that ceremony.

But several lords had passed and left and she still hadnt seen him anywhere.

The crowd seemed to welcome positively some of the lords and be negative towards others. The soldiers had to put them back in order a few times when the later happened.

As the trumpet filled the air violently, and after "Announcing Lord Uchiha's arrival!" had been done, whilst the band was accompanying his slow but graceful black horse's pace with a soft but determined tune, the crowd bursted into a very loud applause and a chaos of flowers hided the young man from her view for a lil bit, just enough to make her believe she hadn't heard right.

And it was then when she saw him. A raven angel, in the midst of falling hyacinthus and cherry blossoms, leading his horse in confidence and stoicness. And then , only for a tiny bit, his onyx eyes met hers and everything came to a stop for Sakura. Her breath was caught in her breast and refused to come out.

He looked like a fallen god, with all the beauty and arrogance that this came with. His skin was perly white, just as she recalled, his raven hair seemed seemed as silky as an angel's and his black, magnetizing eyes...there was not enough words to describe them. She felt like the whole world around her had stopped existing when he looked at her. But for all that she had been able to tell in their brief glance, she had thought for a second that there was something mysterious and dangerous in them.

And then, she snapped out of it, and a cold feeling washed her all over as it finally hit her that he had already passed by without greeting her. Her, HER, the Queen, HIS queen,...Sakura.

At the same time, she could hear her council's dissaprovving and mocking chatter and without being able to clearly make out what they were saying, she had a strong feeling that she had been publicly humiliated. By none other than Sasuke.

And as to add salt to the wound, the crowd seemed to applaud his gesture.

And for the first time since she had become a queen, she realised that she was on her own.

* * *

><p>R&amp;R?<p> 


	4. Thin Air

Hasty footsteps echoed down the corridors towards the queen's chambers. The pinkette reached the fine-crafted wooden door of the room and opened it in barely controlled fury. As she entered the room, she slammed the door with a ridicusly great force for her dainty figure, thus cutting Menma off from following after.

Ever since her return to the castle upon that morning, Sakura had seemed very upset and so the maid had been trying to catch up with her, slowly chasing after her mistress alongside the long and mundane corridors.

She had known the pinkette for a very long time,- she had practically raised her and thus she was able to read her like an open book. She knew when she was seriously upset and when it was not something serious . And this time, her mistress seemed genuinely disturbed.

As the door shut with force right in front of her , Menma frowned in annoyance. The pinkette had started behaving very weirdly lately, in contrast to the tranquil and kind Sakura that she had grown used to. But that could only mean that there was something important troubling her mistress and making her act so unlike herself. That's why Menma was willing to press for answers if that meant she could find a solution.

"Sakura..."Menma adressed the girl on first base, as the pinkette had often asked of her, in an attempt to make the well-meaning approach smoother.

The maid's tone was calm but determined. A brief, pregnant silence followed after. Menma was ready to repeat her notion when Sakura finally answered.

"Just go away!" she shouted, giving an end to the silence. Menma could almost feel the anger and dissapointment vibrating through the young girl's tone on her skin.

She wanted to press until she got a different, more helpful reply from her but she had suddenly lost all of her confidence.

Even though, Sakura had barely ever made her feel like she was nothing but a mere servant with no rights but only obbligations towards the queen, Menma was too much of a realist to allow herself to think she could trully be anymore than that.

Before becoming Sakura's nanny and -later on- personal maid, she had belonged ever since she had been born to a wealthy feudal lord and had worked hard for him and his family from her 5th to her 16th years, after which she had been sold by the lord himself to the local slave market. Somehow, she ended up being bought as a slave for the palace.

And even though she hadnt had to put up with her old master's and his family's inhumanly demanding and sadistic whims for 11 years now, she was still carrying the wounds that her old harsh experience left inside her. Even so, she knew she had been incredibly lucky, considering how she had started out. She became a royal slave who was serving a kind and usually gentle to her queen, a thing that most slaves wouldnt even dare to dream off! But she knew when to not push her luck, and this was one of those times.

With her head leaning to the ground, she stepped backwards slowly, till she suddenly bumped against something thick.

"Watch where you're going, you silly wench!" an angry voice filled her ears: Menma recognised it was lord Manemour.

With her heart beating fast in shock, she quickly turned around and bowed in respect. The man snorted and kept glaring at her annoyed, until she dissapeared from his range of view.

The elder sighed and stared at the pinkette's door. Hesitantly, he went closer and knocked firmly on the fine wood twice.

Sakura, who had heard the man's angry outburst before, was in no mood to face him at the moment. All she wanted was to stay alone, finally.

"My lord, unless you want your head severed and served to the royal dogs in a golden plate, please refrain from disturbing me for the rest of this fine noon." she said, surprised at her own aggressiveness.

She didn't mean her threats, if anything, she was only being sarcastic. But she couldnt help but let her bitterness show as she still was upset with how the council had behaved during the welcoming ceremony.

The picture of them laughing mockinly amongst them together with the crowd's enthousiastic cheers had been stuck in her head and was randomly but persistantly surfacing in her mind every now and then.

Lord Manemour flinched, then raised an eyebrow in annoyance.

"My queen, may I remind you that you're not the 6 year old child anymore that used to mock the lords and terrorize the staff with vulgar absurdities?"

"My lord, if I were you I would not test my patience for I may not be as harmless as I may seem to you."

Something vaguely but certainly threatening in the tone of her voice had him thinking she was actually being serious. The old man couldnt help the sudden shiver that ran through his spine. But he regained his composure just as fast. He was too old and experienced to let a foolish young girl scare him off like that. He had known her ever since her birth, he knew she was nothing but words. She simply didn't have it in her to be evil.

"I never implied such a thing, my queen. Allow me to be brief: This evening's the dinner with the future and the past mercenaries and you have to be present...As the queen. Tomorrow, you will have to personally go through the new applicant mercenaries and..."

"Accept or decline the ones I judge as proper. Of course, proper means the noble lords whom the castle is in good and powerful relations with and benefit my majesty and the palace's own interest through their reputable name and legacy. I know, I know, my lord. It is always the same thing. " Sakura said in a bored tone.

The procedure was, as always, typical.

Every year, the council gave her a list with the names of the nobles whom they judged proper in order to be accepted as mercenaries. It was always spawns and relatives of noble feudal families that the council was in good terms with and that helped each other for the common good of their personal interests.

The said families were always insanely wealthy and with a very well known name around the kingdom, which was, more often than not, not a very good one. The commoners and the middle class generally thought of them as a bunch of rich arrogant pricks who did nothing but parasite the castle's bugget with their exploitative mercenary duties and inhumanly mistreat the poor peasants that happened to be working in their fields and for them, often not even paying them for months at all, despite the law.

Yet the council insisted on keeping them satisfied in various ways, such as enlisting them in the mercenary duties, because with insane amounts of gold and power which those feudal lords had obtained through the years, they were capable of anihilating the council should the later not favour and assist them, whenever possible.

Becoming a mercenary was basically allowed to any class and caste but because of the council's doings, rarely ever anyone not rich and noble enough got their chance at it.

And that's why Sakura didn't understand why Lord Manemour was now trying to explain the procedure to her. Everything had already been chosen regardless of her own will or consent and all she had to do was to fake that it was her who made those decisions and transfer the news on to the applicants.

The old man was initially taken aback by the girl's sudden reaction but recovered fast.

"Indeed, you do, your majesty. I will be looking forward to tonight's buffet." he said, slowly retreating.

"So will I." Sakura whispered ironically.

She walked away from the door behind which she had been standing all this time. She had finally been left in peace. She didn't want to think about the mercenaries or anything else for that matter, for the moment. There was no point. Sasuke had taken up all the space in her head, filling it with unsolved questions and confusing angst.

She knew she was overthinking it and that she shouldnt have given such importance to such a trivial matter.

_Would it have mattered the same to me if it had been someone else instead, doing what he did?_

…

_No._

…

_Damn, where's your pride, young lady? Forget about that man! He abandoned you when you needed a friend the most. And when he finally came back, he didn't even spare you a second glance! It's over, forget him... He's come and gone. He'll just fade again in time, like those distant memories of your childhood did._

_But...it's **him**._

_HE ABANDONED YOU!_

_...He was only a child!_

_HE ABANDONED YOU!_

_No._

_YES!_

_YES!_

As Sakura was attempting to get herself together, the council was in amused delight.

"If the king had been alive, not even the old lord Uchiha would have dared to disrespect him like this! And the young one wouldnt have dared to show his face at us."Lord Manemour said in an offended tone.

"Well, we might detest the kid, but we gotta admit, noone really views her as a queen. She's just too young and naive. At least, the Uchiha boy had the guts to not feign respect to her like the rest of them did."

"Pfft, an Uchina spawn can be anything but honest, Cheryl! He's simply an arrogant brat, just like his father was. But it was refreshingly entertaining to see that joke of a queen, being put in her place like that." Manemour said.

"Meh, ...she does need a harsher reality check in order to learn her place. But, let's not forget that it's best for everyone if she kept on thinking of herself as a real and proper queen."

"Say that again. She can keep on sleeping her peaceful sleep while we are being the ones pulling the strings."

"I know, but what in case...she ever wakes up?" lord Cheryl said questioningly.

"Implying otherwise is giving her too much credit, Cheryl. I'd think you know her very well." Manemour said, grinning amused at the other lord's foolish question.

The other man nodded in a hurry, in fears of being considered dim. Lord Manemour was many things, but naive wasn't one of them.

"Don't we all?" he added.

* * *

><p>The day passed by slowly for Sakura. Menma went in and out her chambers costantly, serving lunch and cleaning up, then preparing a warm bath for her and, finally, brushing her hair. The maid said that she wanted to make her look beautiful for tonight, but Sakura herself didn't care a lot about it. She was rather absent minded, thinking of various things except the ones she should have been thinking instead. Thus, she just let Menma do as she knew best. She almost enjoyed the silent company.<p>

Menma gently comb dried her long pink hair and fastened it in a braided bun, leaving enough soft tendrils of hair around Sakura's forehead and each side of face.

The hairstyle seemed formal and elegant. Sakura gave an uninterested look into the mirror placed in front of her. Her eyes widened slightly in contentment. As much as she hated to admit it, she felt nice looking pretty and feminine, every now and then.

The cheerful maid, then, helped the her put on a beautiful gown that hadalow and square neckline, a tight-fitting bodice, and a full skirt gathered to the waist. The gown was coloured in tones of green, silver and black, with the first and last of the colours making most of it.

The green one was very much similar to the emerald of her orbs.

"Oh my god, your majesty, you look so pretty!" Menma cheered, while inspecting her work.

Sakura smiled sadly at her.

"Who cares, it doesn't change a thing in the long run, does it? But thank you, Menma." Sakura said in a lazy tone, yawning deeply.

The night was still very young and she had already began feeling deadly bored.

Menma gave her a questioning look. She didn't quite understand the significance behind the girl's words but decided against asking her whatever she meant as Sakura's nerves weren't in a good condition recently.

"You may leave, now." the pinkette said, looking softly at the maid.

The older woman smiled and bowed softly before exiting the royal chambers.

When Sakura stayed alone in the room, she finally let a deep sigh escape her lips. She felt like ripping that perfect make up and outfit of hers and kicking away her perfect velvet latchet shoes. She didnt feel like attending that boring dinner, especially when she played no role at all in the actual management of the mercenaries.

She couldnt bring herself to sit on that long and narrow table, knowing that all the poor and unfamed aspirant mercenaries would be purposedly left out from the event. She had to do the council's dirty job. And what was worse was seeing the self-assured, cocky smirks of the "noble" brats who occupied the table and knew they had been the only ones considered from a vast multitude of other applicants.

Not all of them would have been entitled to the privileges and the duties of the mercenary by the next day, but a good deal of them would. It couldnt happen otherwise. And Sakura knew it. She knew she didn't have the power to change that. And that's what appaled her the most.

* * *

><p>"Gentlemen, I welcome you to the official royal dinner especially organized for all you as a humble expression of gratitude to all those who possess the noble intentions and skills such as worthy of a future mercenary. I hope you will particularly enjoy this night together with me. The queen salutes you." The short servant that stood beside Sakura announced slowly and clearly. Once he finished the brief speech of the queen's greeting towards the nobles, Sakura smiled faintly and bowed lightly at them. All the men that were around the long table immitated her almost immediately and soon after she sat down on the velvet invested chair behind her. Everyone did the same and the announcer parted.<p>

Sakura had nothing more to say to them, either way. She wasnt there to chat. She was there to pretend she welcomed and aknowledged them but it was a purely typical event. Besides, even if she wanted to chat, it'd be an impossible for her feat, with the table being extended that long and the amount of people already chit chatting amongst them, creating a hazy fuss.

The only people she had decent chances of talking properly with were members of the council, who were sitting at the first left and right of her post of the table each.

The room was vast , plain at some points but full of beautifully crafted but small decorations at some others. Candles imprisoned in their impressive candle holders gave off a soft light towards various directions , sometimes discretidly painting the walls with their light and other times gifting their warmth to the table they were placed on. Some of those candles were generations old, covered with pure silver or some other expensive metal, even for the standards of the era, thus gifting an aristocratic and wealthy tone to the overall decoration of the dining room. Observing around, Sakura was thinking about how many things she could buy for the army if she sold some of the stuff that were lying in it. Either way, whether something was of high value or not, castle property always sold for good money at the free market.

Persistant and nagging thoughts that she had resulted at that kept respawning in Sakura's mind, making her feel bad for even thinking of doing those things. But, with the poverty that was drawning her kingdom, it was time for drastic measures. The repeated war and the mercenaries, who offered back less than the 1\10 of what they were given from the castle, had impoverisced the once truly prosperous country. The people couldnt be taxed more than they already were, they barely paid the current taxes as it was. To her, now, it seemed that the only decent sources of gold inside the kingdom belonged to the palace and the feudal lords.

She gave a hurried glance at the people choking the room.

She vaguely recognised some of the faces and some of them merely belonged to the old council lords. And, as every almost passing year, she saw a bunch of unknown faces. She averted her gaze from the crowd and focused on her empty plate. She was looking forward to the food. At least, eating would give her something to do, as she had already began feeling uncomfortable under the curious gazes of that suffocating multitude of males.

After a while, servers started bringing trays carrying plates filled with food , left and right, placing the dishes everywhere on top of the vast superficies of the outstretched royal dining table.

Seemingly, the first course included Pears in Confyt and Buttered Worttes. Sakura could recognise them by their characteristic, biting scent. Luckily for her, she liked, at least, one of the two dishes and it wasn't the later.

People started eating greedily and consuming red and white wine. Sakura wondered what she was still doing there. She felt as if everyone ignored her presence, whether she was there or not did not matter. The men were men. They behaved their table manners vulgarly without considering the presence of queen amongst them.

The presence of a female.

Sakura sighed softly and looked at the dish. She took a tiny bite and started chewing slowly. But there was this weird feeling of being stared at that kept bugging her.

Every time she raised her head to take a look at the people, she always saw them eating and talking deliberately with each other, too lost in their own conversations to notice her.

She wasn't even remotely hungry. This evening seemed painfully pointless to her. She grabbed a piece of pear with her tiny silver fork and shoved it lifelessly in her mouth, trying to fool her boredom.

-"And what's your opinion about the peasants working in the feuds, Lord Uchiha? Should they continue to get paid, considering the tremendous economic crisis that we are undergoing?"

-"Heh...They should be thankful for even having a land to stay in, these days! "Another man added heatidly.

Sakura's heart started beating fast. It was like a lightning had hit her when she heard that name being spoken. She hadn't noticed nor had she been able to make out any coversations among the people before but for some reason one of the council members had decided to raise their tone all of a sudden.

Immediately, her eyes started searching fervently to spot his face among all those people but to no avail. Inwards, she desperately cursed the wide crowd that made it hard for her to focus.

Finally, when he started speaking, her emerald orbs, almost automatically, fell on him and her heart skipped a beat.

-"If the feudal lords don't wish to pay them, then they should let them free to leave their land and make a living elsewhere. The peasants aren't our slaves."

The scarse but intense light that was falling on his face gave him a mysterious feeling. His seat wasn't too far or too close to hers. It was somewhere in the middle of that.

Big magnetizing ebony eyes, snow-white skin and scalled raven hair that seemed to be made of pure silk under the scarse light that rolled pleasantly on them.

He was eerily beautiful. His voice brought her back to reality, rather abruptly.

She felt as if she had been released from a sultry spell.

-"This seems to be some kind of unprecedented opinion, for someone who's leading a feud himself."

-" I know many lords who agree with me. Even the conservative kind. Someone who's isolated from the rest of the world wouldnt know that, of course." Sasuke said.

Sakura felt deeply intrigued by his words. Normally, she couldnt stand to hear people talking about politics or anything remotely similar, -she had to put up with it every time she participated in the everlasting councils that the elders forced her in and thus she thought they had exhausted all the points that could be said on the matter.

But she felt as if he brought something new, something refreshing to the picture. Surprised as she still was by his unexpected presence, she tried to calm herself down and make something out of the heated conversation that was unfolding between him and some of the council elders.

-"Are you implying that we keep no account of what's going on in our kingdom? That's too bold of a statement, young man!" Lord Manemour said, in a scandalized tone.

-" As far as I'm concerned, I didn't point any fingers. I'm speaking in general." Sasuke said, with an ever so slight hint of irony in his voice.

Sakura was silently staring at him, in full attention.

Sasuke suddenly gave her a quick knowing look that lasted for 2 seconds. And then he averted his gaze from her and focused back on Manemour just as fast.

Sakura's breath came at a sudden stop. Then, colour rose to her cheeks, in the shades of anger.

Now that her initial shock had begun to fade, she remembered his derogatory behaviour at the welcoming ceremony and she felt her cheeks flashing in irritation. Who did he think he was to come to her own territory, to her own habitance and behave like a spoiled brat, throwing hints so shamelessly at her? And she wasnt even sure if he had meant it for her because his behaviour was so confusing.

-"Is that so?" Lord Manemour countered him with overt disbelief.

Sasuke looked at him for a while with an unreadable expression plastered over his motionless face, then decided to ignore him. He threw his piercing gaze back at Sakura.

Under the table, her hands on her lap were shaking in anger but she forced herself to stare at him, with fake confidence.

-"Would your majesty like to share her views with us?" the raven asked her, while giving her a curious look behind the metal glass he was sipping wine off.

The first feeling the pinkette experienced at that very moment was a weird dissapointment secretly washing all over her.

It was the first time that he hadn't call her by her name. Of course, it'd be considered disrespectable if he had adressed her with her first name in front of everyone present in that room. She was a queen now. But it still felt plainly weird, contrasted with her childhood memories in which they simply handled each other on a very familiar first base. She realised that any familiary between them had dissapeared, leaving no traces behind...

All that time he had been away, she was free to still _hope _that their bond hadn't dissolved in thin air. But now, he was there, in the very same room, observing her with emotionless eyes and talking to her as if he was just someone else to her, as if she was just someone else to him. This realisation left her numb and cold.

The second feeling that Sakura had was that he was testing her, even though his expression had remained serious.

Once, she realised she had stayed silent for more than would have been considered normal so, she rushed to give her opinion.

-"I agree with you on that matter." she said, feeling that it had been the most diplomatic answer to give. Besides, she really did agree with Sasuke's views, either way.

He left his glass back on the table.

-"On which matter?"Sasuke asked, raising an eye brow.

A pazzled look unwantingly spread on her delicate face.

-"Excuse me?" she hurried to ask, not understanding very well.

-"I said, which matter do you agree on, the peasants' arguement or the one about isolation and ignorance?"

It hit her like a flat wall with full force. Her fingers gripped the foddles of her dress hard as she was trying to remain collected.

This was his way to make it more obvious to her that his accusative hints had been directed towards her or that's what she could make out.

She counted her words for a brief moment. What if it was unintentional from his part?

The raven's lips turned into a soft teasing smirk.

Every chance that it could have been a misunderstanding was now gone from her mind.

She was sure he was now mocking her, playing word games.

In short, he was subtly but obviously calling her ignorant and indifferent towards her people.

-"I don't know about the later but I do know that according to the Law the peasants must be monthly paid by the feudal lords to whom they offer their services."

Sasuke leaned his head slightly forwards as if he was focusing harder on her.

-" Law is law. What do **you** think?"

-"I think that the peasants aren't anyone's slaves." she finally said, looking at him with collected confidence.

She wouldn't give him the satisfaction to know that he had got under her skin so early on.

Sasuke kept himself back from smirking. He hadnt expected to receive that kind of answer, but he was glad he did. He kept his stoic expression, giving her an unreadable look. Then he returned his gaze to one of the lords who was saying something that the pinkette couldnt hear.

She stared at him for a while then quickly focused back on her plate, pretending she was picking her food out. Her cheeks were on fire. She wondered if it was apparent how agitated she was feeling inside her.

Her heart was beating fast and her breathing rate was increasing by the second. She wanted to run away and hide herself but she knew she would rather die than embarass herself like that.

Was it the food, the people, the place or the music? What could have possibly upset her this much?

Even though her mind had slowly started to grasp the truth, an intense fear that wrecked every feeling of balance in her kept pushing it back to the shadows.

Because no...There's no way he can still affect you like he did...

Yes, you're over him. The past...

The dinner had lasted for four painfully long hours, after which every participant had retreated to their private places, some of them had been accomodated in the numerous guest rooms of the castle and some others had done their own arrangements outside, -in the town.

Sakura laid on the big king-sized bed, staring at her hands, crossed on top of her chest that was heaving up and down in a regular pace. She had calmed down considerably but her unexpected meeting with Sasuke and their small but weird conversation kept wandering in her head and didn't let her sleep.

His presence in the dinner could only mean one thing...and that was that he wanted to be a mercenary. But would his name be, in the list, with the rest of those that had been approved? Judging by the not so good past between his father and the royal council, that seemed highly unlikely. But what created even greater confusion to her was the reasons for which he'd want to become a mercenary.

A long time ago, or so she had read in the old books lying forgotten inside the royal library, the mercenaries had been one of the biggest sources of strength and pride of the kingdom. They were noble men with great qualities who gave away all their belongings and very lives in the altar of the war and the protection of the country and asked very little if nothing in return from the king.

But nowdays, being a mercenary was anything but noble. Sure it was "nobles" who went after it, but it had become a synonym of greed, corruption and exploitation. Sasuke was no fool, he surely knew all that. It was no time for heroes.

On top of that, he did seem to have, from what she had gathered sparcely through the years from scattered rumours, rather impressive enough amounts of gold and property of his own in order to not ever need to seek for more.

If all of that was true, then why had he come back to where everyone thought of him as a traitor?

* * *

><p>R&amp;R?<p>

If you want this story to continue, please do leave a review\critique\whatever you feel like. Is there something about the way I write that you don't like? If yes, please do say so(in a civilized way whatsoever). I want to know how weak/strong I am.

Note: English is not my first language. Just a thing to keep in mind for those who'd like to make a judgement.

Sorry if this chapter is short again, I'm just busy with exams and such, plus there's really not much of a motivation for me if barely anyone comments on this.


	5. Second Thoughts

A soft double knock on the bare wooden surface interrupted the silence in the room. The pinkette averted her eyes from the fine thin scroll she had been focusing on and threw her gaze at the door.

-"Come on in." She said almost mechanically.

Menma entered the room carrying breakfast and bowed deeply to the queen.

Sakura nodded.

-"Good morning, miss." the maid said.

-"Thanks. Leave the tray on the table by the window, as usual."

Sakura said fast before returning her gaze back to the list of the approved applicants that she was holding. She had been staring at it for quite some time now. It had been handed to her by one of the elders earlier this morning. Just as she had imagined, Sasuke's name wasn't in it.

She didn't exactly feel dissapointed, nor did she feel any kind of gratification. She was still so numb by his unexpected reappearance and weird behaviour these last days, that she didnt know how to feel and what to think.

-Sakura, are you alright? Menma said in a concerned tone, dragging Sakura out of her deep thoughts.

Sakura's eyes immediately shot up to her as if she had been smacked in the face.

-Hmm? Yeah, I guess?" she said softly.

-Really now?" The maid said with a serious expression.

Sakura leaned her head to the side, giving Menma a curious look.

-You have not been yourself lately. If there's something troubling you, I'd be glad to help." the girl finally said.

-I'm just really really hard pressured lately. I guess it's expected to be acting weird, under these conditions".

-Are you sure it's merely that?" The maid asked, pressing harder for answers.

Sakura gave her a cold look. The maid's persistance was starting to irk her.

Menma felt that she had crossed the line and rushed to fix things.

-It's just that I haven't seen you so stressed before, your majesty." The older woman whispered in defeat.

-Menma, I already told you the truth, okay? Now, please, get my white coronation gown ready for the ceremony." Sakura said, annoyanced clear in her voice.

The maid hurried to nod in sumbission, even though something was bugging her. She didnt buy what Sakura had said. She knew it, she had a feeling that there was something wrong.

She picked the impressive gown out from the wide wooden wardrobe and left it carefully on Sakura's bed.

-"It's ready, your majesty." she smiled.

She had already taken care of the gown last night, while Sakura was attending the dinner.

-"Great. Let me grab a bite and then you'll help me put it on." the pinkette said, smiling at the maid.

-" As you wish." the maid said and made a soft bow before exiting the royal chambers.

Sakura was ready for the ceremony. The white royal gown almost seemed to be sparkling under the daylight.

Sakura gave one last look at herself in the mirror before turning around and exiting the room.

She started heading down the stairs leading to the chamber in which she'd hand out the mercenary titles.

Holding the list inside her hands and looking intensely at it, a feeling of guilt regarding Sasuke's exclusion had started bothering her.

He certainly hadnt been the first nor the last to have been excluded but he used to be her friend once and he had helped her several times in his own way.

To some third person, this might sound like a silly excuse but she strongly believed that if it hadnt been for Sasuke back then, she would have grown up to be a completely different person, perhaps she'd even come to hate what she'd turn into. Sasuke, being the first and only friend of hers, taught her about the meaning of bonds.

Having lost her mother at a very young age and rarely ever spending time with her busy and- later on - costantly ill father, Sasuke had been more or less her first real bond with someone. And that was why his sudden dissapearance from her life often made her feel that there was a part of herself missing.

But even if he was back for the time being, she didnt feel any more complete.

In fact, every time she saw him, she didnt know what to expect.

She was afraid to accept it but the present Sasuke seemed to have nothing in common with the Sasuke she remembered from their past.

Even so, she wasnt completely heartless. Friend or not, she felt it was unfair for Sasuke to keep paying the consequenses of what his father had done.

She decided to talk about it to the elders before the ceremony started. She wanted to ask them why they had excluded him. She already knew the answer more or less, but she found it irrational of them to carry on their bitterness on to someone who had never harmed them.

As she was about to take the turn down the corridor leading to the hall where the elders often took their breakfast, she noticed familiar voices coming from somewhere at the other part of the wall. She stood frozen in her tracks.

-It was embarassing to see her agreeing with that vulgar Uchiha brat's views. She ridiculed us in front of the rest of feudal lords." One of the voices said.

-He even insulted the castle and she didnt even defend it. I admit it was amusing the other time, but now its getting too much. She didnt even seem annoyed."

Its possible she has sympathy towards his person, they used to be friends back in the time."

-Oh please, that was once upon a time. They havent interacted in years! To add to that, he keeps disrespecting her and theres even rumours he talks badly of her to others, even inside her own palace, saying how she's unworthy of the crown. That kid's audacious! He's no different to his father!"

-True enough, gentlemen. At least, we will act as a barrier, putting an end to his traitorous aspirations!"

Sakura's hands started shaking. She couldnt believe what she had just heard. She felt insanely confused. There's no way Sasuke would really say that for her, not the Sasuke she knew...He would always stand up for her and defend her, even take the blame for her when she messed up, back when they were kids. What could she possibly have done to him to make him hate her like that? She wasnt sure whether to believe those rumours or not. But still, what she heard had deeply affected her, wounding her pride.

She had no idea that the council really thought that way about her. She always knew that they were secretly backbiting her , but her stance towards Sasuke seemed to have made their opinion on her even worse. And what if thats how everyone thought on the matter? Had she been ridiculed once more? She had no idea she had made a fool of herself when she had only thought she was acting in an intelligent, controlled way.

She felt anger rising on her cheeks. That Uchiha was having a bad effect on her, she had to stop showing any kindness to him from then and on.

The elder's approaching footsteps suddenly pulled her out of her thoughts. She ran away from the corner she had been standing at, back towards the ceremony chamber. She went down the stairs and then walked some more, until she finally neared the room. She could hear the elders slowly following after. She tried to calm her heartbeat a bit. She needed to be more collected in order to do her part fine.

She walked into the room and the guardians at each side of the door as well as the mercenaries who had been approved bowed in unison at her sight.

She slowly walked the distance towards the altar on which the silver swords with the symbol of the phoinix carved on them were resting, waiting to be finally handed over to their new owners.

Her crown was sparkling under the sun light that was falling into the room and on her through the wide crystal windows on the upper parts of the walls.

Once she had reached the altar, the music stopped playing and everyone stood up, looking at her expectantly.

With a relatively extended delay, the elders joined the room, scattering left and right, staring around and whispering amongst them every now and then.

The announcer called forth the first name in the list, in a loud manner.

"Lord Hyuga Neji from Devon, please step forward in front of her majesty."

A tall young man with long black hair, pale skin and gray, clouded eyes slowly walked towards the altar, coming at a halt before the pinkette.

-"Kneel down." Sakura said in a soft yet formal tone.

The boy bowed with respect and then did as he had been told.

-"Do you promise to protect the kingdom through thick and thin with all your will and all your might?"she asked

-"I do." Neji said in a determined voice.

-"Do you promise to always stay faithful to the King and the Queen, under any and all circusmstances?"

-"I do."

-"Do you accept the duties and the rights of the title of the mercenary for the rest of your remaining life?"

-"I do."

-"Finally, do you promise to always and in every way possible honour the title of the mercenary, at all times?"

-"I do."

Sakura then grabbed one of them silver broadswords, -it was a centuries old tradition to hand this symbolic sword out at the newly entitled mercenaries. They rarely ever used it since it was too heavy to handle and thus not suitable for fight but it would sell for a fortune should its owner decide to dispose of it. But that wasn't a frequent phenomenon, since it was considered a supreme honour and a good fortune charm to have one in your posession.

Trying to balance it with her two hands, she connected it rather clumsily with his left and right shoulder, once at the time.

"Lord Hyuga Neji, you have now aquired the title of the mercenary.

Be certain to make responsible and fair use of it. May the God be with you." Sakura said in her most formal tone, inwardly shivering with the amount of irony lacing those words.

Those were the official ceremonial words as they had been passed down from generation to generation. Once upon a time, the "Do you promise..."s and the "I do"s were sincerely meant by all parts.

Nowadays, they meant nothing...They were just words. Mere, plain words.

The young boy stood up slowly and bowed deeply as Sakura was handing the sword to him. Once he took hold of it, he bowed once more and then stepped back until he fused back with the rest of the hazy crowd, returning to his initial standing place.

-"Lord Yamanaka Hisashi, please step forward to her majesty."

…...

The procedure followed the same route for everyone, until there was noone left to be entitled. Sakura sighed softly, as the servant announced the ceremony to be officially over and soon everyone started slowly emptying the big room, not without excited or bored whispers mixing to create a fuss that gave her a mild headache.

The council lords were still scattered in the room, apparently too focused in their own commentations. Sakura could swear that they gathered there every year in order to watch all the new mercenaries so that they could gossip on them for the rest of the day.

She stayed still, sitting on her throne, somewhere behind the altar, for a while and then as boredom and tiredness started getting the best of her, she stood up and headed towards the exit, in the midst of bowing servants and chattering elders scattered here and there in small groups.

Noone of the former seemed to notice her, at least noone important.

She stood for a bit under the door, trying to catch her breath. Holding those heavy swords for such an extended period of time had really drained that little of power left in her, adding to that, she hadnt eaten well this morning and her stomach was still turning inside out cause of the things she had heared earlier this morning.

She put herself together and pushed the door open, exiting the noisy room.

She turned to one of the two guards standing at the sides of the door.

-"If any of the elders should ask where I went, tell them I want to be left alone for the day. " she ordered.

The guard hurried to nod and bow.

-"I shall do that, your majesty." he said in a monotonous voice.

She stood there for a while, trying to gather her strength. As she was about to set off, she froze on the spot at the sight of the Uchiha.

Sasuke was standing some distance away, arms crossed on his chest, intently looking at her with an unreadable expression.

She cursed her luck. Of all the people, he was the last she wanted to deal with right now. She didnt know if she felt guilt or anger when it came to him.

-"Your Majesty." he said softly.

That caught her off guard. Her eyes automatically shot up at his and her cheeks flashed against her will.

His voice was like silk to her ears. She suddenly felt as if she'd have no problem listening to it for hours even if she literally couldnt stand anyone else speaking for a second at the time.

What was wrong with her?

Sakura realised she had been standing silent for a long time. She nodded hurriedly.

The raven man took a couple of steps forward.

-"May I speak with you? Privately." he put emphasis on the last word.

Remembering his previous misbehaviour and the "rumours", she decided that she didnt feel like hearing him out, at least not now that the effect was still fresh.

"Sadly, I have to take my leave now, my lord. I'm afraid I'm too tired right now." she said but she didnt yet move from the spot.

Sasuke was piercing her with his ebony gaze, making her feel as if she was naked under his stare. She shivered involuntarily.

He slowly covered the distance separating them and stood in front of her. Sakura had been so drawn in by his unreadable gaze that she didn't really realise when he had moved.

They were now less than half a meter apart. Gladly not too close for comfort but still too close, after all this time.

-"I want to know the reason for my exclusion." he said impatiently, cutting to the point.

Sakura felt so small under his intense piercing stare. Her heart started beating faster. She didnt want to be there right now.

She sighed pointedly, then decided to just walk away and ignore him, she had only made a couple of steps when Sasuke got in front of her, effectively blocking her way.

Sakura didnt step back, despite the sudden proximity, instead she raised her eyes to his, staring at him with an overtly flustered expression.

He was staring back at her expectantly, completely unphased by her uneager stance.

This staring contest made her all very nervous but all the more annoyed. She really couldnt understand the nerve of this guy, standing there in front of her, heck, even fearlessly glaring at her, as if nothing had happened. And on top of that, she knew he probably was was there only to ask for her help. A "hello, Sakura, how have you been all these years that we've been away?" would be nice but no...That's all he was interested in.

The familiar voices of the elders were getting louder, allarming the pinkette that they were reaching the exit anytime now.

She didnt know why she said what she did next, or if it was because she felt extremely pressured at that moment, being placed between two bads and if she uncosciously chose the lesser one or if she really had wanted to say it, but she did.

" I have to take my leave now. We'll talk somewhere else." she said trying to move past him.

Sasuke's body seemed to relax.

"Meet me out of the gate that brings to the royal gardens. I'll be there at 7." she said in a whisper while the elders' voices were getting louder.

And with that, she quickly walked past him and ran off up the stairs.

Her cheeks were flashed like never before. She felt so embarassed for having asked of him to meet secretly. She hadnt even waited for an answer. Had it been it too bold of her, too shameless, to propose such a thing so randomly? What would he think of her now?

Yet, she didnt really have much of a choice since she was in a hurry to avoid the elders.

Furthermore, what if he didn't show up? It'd be hard to brush such a thing off, afterwards.

At least, she had managed to avoid the elders seeing her conversing with Sasuke literally at last second.

She didnt stop running up the stairs until she had reached the floor on which the royal chambers were situated. She finally came to a halt at the last step to catch her breath, then took off running again till she finally reached the familiar wooeden door at the end of the long corridor. She entered the room and locked the door shut. Only then did she allow herself to relax, back pressed against the door as she rolled down, her behind hitting the floor.

Back outside of the ceremony chamber, the elders came face to face with Sasuke who had purposedly stayed back.

Both parts exchanged equally cold looks and lord Manemour couldnt restrain himself anymore.

-" I hope you didn't take your exclusion from the ceremony too bad. Sometimes, it happens to the best of us." he said, irony dripping in his voice.

Sasuke gave him a hostile look that almost made the elder shiver.

-" To be honest, I was prepared for that outcome. Especially since, to quote your words, it happens to the best of us." the Uchiha countered, voice laced with equal amounts of irony.

Manemour lost his words for a bit then suddenly got serious, deciding to cut to the cheese.

-"What do you want here?" he couldnt help his rather rude wording and the strict tone accompanying his voice.

-"I came to congratulate the new mercenaries but looks like they're all gone now. " the raven said, not trying to sound convincing.

He enjoyed playing with their conceited minds.

-"You came too late, my lord." the elder said, giving him an ice cold glare.

-"I'm sure I'll still manage to shake a few hands on my way out. Well, have a nice day, gentlemen." the raven said, with an arrogant expression plastered on his pale face.

Lord Manemour, or any other elder for that matter, bothered not to salute the Uchiha.

Once the raven lord was out of their sight range, Cheryl broke the awkward silence.

-"How arrogant!"

-"He's a cocky lil bastard. I wonder what he's up to." Manemour said in frustration.

-"He just wants to get under your skin."

-"How can you be sure that it's just that?" Manemour asked in doubt.

-"Cause he has noone to turn to. Everyone considers him and his clan to be scum."

-"I am not that sure about that "everyone" you say, Cheryl...You can never trust enough."

-"Meh, he is just a kid, barely at his 20s. He's inexperienced and naive. Cockiness's all he's got. He can't pose a serious threat to us, for the time being." Cheryl said, yawning in boredom.

-" Let's keep a close eye on him, regardless." Manemour said in a serious, dark tone.

…...

* * *

><p>Sakura was fervently fidgeting with her nails. Her nervousness was getting the best of her. She had to meet with <em>him<em> in half an hour and there were so many things to be anxious over. What if he didnt show up afterall? Even worse, what if someone saw them and passed the news to the council? Things between them and her were horrible as it was.

Luckily for them, Menma was busy helping with the chores in the kitchen(too many dishes to wash after the big dinner) and the council was having a meeting, one of those few ones that she wasnt obligated to attend for once. She had told them she was exhausted cause of the morning ceremony and the last days' preparations , so they had decided to leave her alone for the rest of the day.

She stood up and peered inside her big, wide mirror.

_Oh my god, I look bad!_

She started desperately fixing her hair. She had previously asked Menma to help her dress up and make her hair and so she had done. But even despite that, now she was getting self conscious all of a sudden.

_You NEED to calm down. _She said to herself but to no avail.

She rubbed her forehead nervously with force. It was time to sneak out, while making sure noone of importance saw her.

She slowly opened the wooden door and exited her chambers. She knew a "secret" path that was leading to the gate bringing to the gardens. Not many people in the castle used it because it was very narrow and full of stairs and turns, in short it was too complicated. Sometimes, during big happenings or parties, when the palace was full of people, the gardeners or other staff used that passage to get to their chambers, but the today's event had ended some hours ago, so everything had returned to its old rates. She was familiar with that path because she used it to secretly leave her room and go play or wander in the royal gardens by herself, when she was a kid.

She crossed the narrow corridor at the end of the hall near her chambers, then took a turn to the left and went up some stairs. She kept going straight, took a right turn and went up some stairs again. Then turned right and went down the stairs for three floors, walked a brief distance and was about to turn into a corner, when a female servant appeared suddenly, as she was exiting her chamber.

The servant glanced over at her but then continued her way, almost too fast, startled to have seen the pinkette there.

Sakura's heart had stopped for a bit but then she quickly regained her composure. The servant wasn't among those "of importance".

She turned left and kept straight, then turned left again, then right and kept going down the stairs till she finally reached the first floor. She could tell by the faint smells of food wandering in the air and the sounds of water and dish clashing together coming from the kitchen on the other side of the floor.

She checked around to see if anyone was coming. At a long distance from her, some servants were running around, but they did not seem to notice her, too busy doing their chores.

She waited for them to dissapear from her range of sight and once the field was free, she grabbed the chance and stormed out of the corner that she had hiding behind and quickly opened the small cringy door that was leading to the big garden gate.

She closed the small door and pushed her back softly against its cold metal surface , trying to catch her breath. She had made it. She had earned herself the right to rest for a moment. There was only a few steps left to cross.

And then...Then, she'd meet with_ him_. Or maybe not.

* * *

><p><strong>R&amp;R, please<strong>

** Since I dont know when I'll get time to update or edit things again, I edited this chapter sitting in my files and decided to update today. Sorry for it being short again, the original chapter was twice the size of this one but due to limited time, I havent edited the other half.**

**Thank you for the reviews! :)**


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